Remembering a special couple who meant so much to so many

The birthdays of John and Norah Watawala fall on October 15 and 17 and it is a fitting occasion to remember them both.

I joined the SenarathDassanayake family and the Watawala family many moons ago when I married Shelton, Norah’s youngest brother and since then, Norah was like my own Akka. When my mother-in-law fell sick just before our wedding, it was Norah Akka who fulfilled her role on behalf of their family. As custom prevailed at that time, the mother-in-law lifts the veil of the new bride and accepts her but with her unavailability, Norah did her part even though she was only in her thirties. I still have the picture of this special moment.

Norah’s father was Proctor Fredrick Senarath-Dassanayake from Katuwellegama walauwwa, close to Katana, and her mother hailed from Debaraliyadda walauwwa in Pannala. Norah was the third of their six children. She spent her childhood at Katuwellegama and schooled at Newstead College, Negombo. She married John Watawala when she was quite young and therefore could not pursue higher studies. However, she took good care of her six children, made sure that they had a good education and did well in society. Her large home with all facilities could accommodate her siblings and their families whenever they visited her for family gatherings.

Her husband, John, a landed proprietor and owner of a dessicated coconut mill was glad to provide her all her wants. He made sure that all their children entered good boarding schools. He looked after her brothers when they were schooling, for their father had died very young. I remember once my husband Shelton when he was a teenager, eager to learn driving, had taken his brother-in-law’s car without permission. His elder brother had seen this and had complained to John. Do you know what John’s answer was? “Well, you don’t have to worry, that’s my car. Let him learn driving in it.” That’s how he treated his teenage brother-in-law! He was a father figure to all of them. Shelton, who never knew his father, for all practical reasons, treated him like one. He was loved and respected. We all miss him.

Norah was generous - towards her children, siblings, domestics, and villagers. She spent lavishly on the family, the needy and religious activities. Almsgivings and pirith ceremonies were quite common in her home. She believed that everyone must take part in the almsgiving by participating in some sort of work. I am an only child, and she knew I was not much of a homemaker. She would keep an already done pile of ingredients on the table and asked me to make balls for the cutlets. She never belittled me for my lack of knowledge of cooking but admired me for the things I could do like driving. She and I would drive down from Katana to Colombo when my husband was hospitalised. This was way back in 1965. We were both hopeless at finding the correct Colombo roads, but she trusted my driving skills. Always, we would get back home safely. The almsgivings were houseful. I remember once there were about 60 monks invited. How she handled and organised such events was beyond my thinking because a dana was no party!

Sinhala New Year was when everyone gathered at their home – “Shanthi”in Katana. The tables were laid with all sorts of delicious meats, seafood, vegetable curries and scrumptious desserts. She would buy identical sarees in four different colours as New Year gifts for her four sisters-in-law and that is how she maintained a good relationship with everyone. On all occasions, her husband gave her the fullest support.

Although she had many domestic helpers, I remember her bringing a cup of coffee to my bedside in the morning. This itself shows how humble and caring she was. I could not say my final goodbye to her because I was thousands of miles away here in New Zealand. My grandchildren would eagerly await and relish the cashewnut milk toffees made and sent by their Katane aththamma – up to now, they remember its everlasting taste.

All of us really miss her, her loving and generous ways, her smile and charm, and remember her fondly on her birthday, October 17.

With the pure life they spent on Earth, I feel both of them have already attained nibbana.