“Unforgettable that’s what you are”

My aunt Joan Atukorale, the third youngest of 12 siblings (nine girls and three boys) who passed away this month grew up at “Aintree”, 42nd Lane, Wellawatte to a very happy, loving and exuberant family. She turned 90 years young on November 22, 2021 and enjoyed Christmas with immediate family. With the closure of borders and COVID restrictions, we were unable to help her blow out the 90 candles.

1931, the year she was born, was the era of the “Silent Generation”. Contrary to the name, children of the Great Depression (born between 1927 and 1946) were expected to be seen and not heard! Having revelled in the highs of the Roaring Twenties, parents faced great economic hardship and struggled to provide for their families during the economic instability of WWII. Parents tended to be very patriotic and ambitious and worked hard. They married young and had children young. They lived before technology, the advent of computers, the internet and therefore preferred to communicate face to face.

The name Joan rocked! She was the music maker, dreamer of dreams, mover and shaker of our family.

In her nineties she still sang hits of yesteryear and humorous bailas.

She was always beautiful, the only family member to be crowned a Beauty Queen and the tomboy of the family who broke a leg in a motorcycle accident. Although her birth flower was chrysanthemum, she preferred to adorn her hair with a “konda-mala” of fragrant and beautiful jasmines. Unlike one of the bearers of her name, Joan of Arc, she preferred to love rather than make war!

Her love of food and culinary skills are legendary. Family Christmas recipes passed down from generation to generation were made with loving care and kept the flames of love burning, No one made Christmas Cake, Plum Pudding with Brandy Sauce, Breuder and Love Cake - quite like aunt Joan. The ingredients in her life’s delicious recipes were the people she loved, memories she cherished and the dreams she was able to see in her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. It had been all been worthwhile.

She was our own Family Master Chef: Lamprais wrapped in banana leaves - cooked to perfection; Bola de coco (coconut cake -”bolo” in Portuguese for cake); Bolo fiado (layered cake of sweet pastry rounds alternating with cashew nut, sugar and rosewater and thickish syrup; Borowa (semolina biscuits); Foguete (a tube of deep fried pastry filled with a mixture of pumpkin, sugar, semolina, cardamom and rosewater.

In spite of the loss of her beloved Uncle Terrence at the prime of his life, the loss of her son Trushan and wife Sonali, she soldiered on. Aunt Joan witnessed so much change, incredible events over 90 years sharing many remarkable experiences. Her stories reflected a life well-lived. She embraced change and continued to relate to the new and old alike. Her energy inspired us - she approached everything with a sense of childhood delight and taught us how to see the lighter side of life.

We’d rather not count the candles she had on her cake but the smiles we shared - not the wrinkles, grey hair or aching bones, but instead, laughter, experience and adventures. Nothing can tarnish those wonderful memories.

Alix and family